Phases of the Moon
by Kairos10
Summary: Shinjiro remembers Minako MShe


Phases of the Moon

Shinjiro sat in her empty room taking in all the sights. This was the first time he had been in her room. He had been too stubborn to come here when she invited him back in October. Before he got shot and before she died. Shinjiro balled his fist tightly and closed his eyes. He needed to get out of her room. It still had her scent and her presence which pained him greatly. He felt like a coward for wanting to run away so soon. He thought about how even in the end it had been Akihiko who was strong enough to clean out her room. It was also Akihiko who had called him over to give him something of hers.

"Shinji, I found these when I was cleaning out her room. I only skimmed through it but…I think you should have it."

"Why? It wasn't enough for her to die in my arms? Now I have to take all her things? I just want the watch Aki. That's all I came here for."

"Just read it. If you don't…I don't think she'll be able to rest in peace."

"God damn it Aki, don't give me that shit. If you ever say something so fucking stupid again I'll kill you! What could be so important that I have to rip a whole in my heart again and again for? What the fu-"

His eyes caught his name on the page and he began to read.

Entry 1:

_His name is Shinjiro Aragaki and he's a year older than me. He's a senior in the same class as Akihiko-senpai but I've never seen him at school. Maybe he's a dropout? I've heard Akihiko-senpai call him Shinji but I think he'd be angry if I tried calling him that. He's so mysterious. I mean, he even dresses mysteriously. Who wears a trench and beanie with western style boots? If you want to blend in maybe you shouldn't wear such strange clothes. At least maybe that's how a normal girl would think. Instead, all I can think about is what he might look like without that beanie on and if he stopped slouching would he be 6'0? He's not particularly handsome, at least not in the same obvious way as Akihiko-senpai. Still, there's something in his face and in his broad shoulders that makes me want to push him against a wall and force him to acknowledge me. He's living in the dorm now even though he seemed to be thoroughly against it at first. I wonder what changed his mind and I wonder why Akihiko-senpai felt the need to bring me along. His Persona is interesting too. Castor is a heavy hitter with pretty much no weaknesses or say a Persona reflects the inner self so what does that say about him? Shinjiro-san's fighting style has pretty much thrown my battle style for a loop. I find myself making sure to heal him instead of attack. Since when did I become the supporter? No, I need to figure out why I'm so worried about this guy. Well, I think I know, at least somewhat, what's making me think about him non-stop. He reminds me of what has been following me my whole life; death. I see something in him that reminds me of that day 10 years ago. I wonder if he's hiding something. Maybe I can find out? Maybe I can help? I know that must be pretty pretentious of me but I want to. I want to be able to help someone the way I've been helped by others my whole life. I know I'm here for some reason. Otherwise, I would have died like everyone else that day. I'm going to ask him to dinner. That's not unreasonable. I am their leader after all and he said he'd have my back. Here I go._

Entry 2:

_He said YES! I was so surprised that he agreed to go out with me. I mean it was just dinner but still, I was scared he was going to tell me to "fuck off." Much to my surprise he didn't! He actually looked a bit shy when he said yes. I've found out that he's a worry wart! He also seems to be very interested in food and how well everyone, especially Akihiko-senpai, eats. I'm sort of jealous of Akihiko-senpai. They have such an established relationship. Shinjiro-san is like the big brother and Akihiko-senpai the younger brother who worries non-stop about his big brother getting into trouble. It's actually kind of cute but I wish I could be something special like that to Shinjiro-san too. I know it's bad to be jealous but I can't help it. I'm even jealous of Mitsuru-senpai because she's known him for so much longer than me. I've never been one to back down from a challenge so I'll just have to keep at it. Maybe I can be special to him someday too?_

Entry 3:

_He went to the movies with me! Who would have guessed that he's such a softie? Those so called, "tear jerkers," didn't even get a sniffle out of me but I think he cried a little. Does that just make me a cold hearted bitch? Behind all that cussing and gruffness he's actually very sweet. I think I'm in love. Just kidding! Actually, no I think I might be in love with him. I don't know what to do about this though. For now I suppose I'll just keep trying to get closer to him. As long as he doesn't say no I still have a chance right? Oh man, my heart is still beating fast. I can't stop thinking about his, "embarrassed" cover up face! He'd kill me for sure if he knew I saw all that. I was totally watching him more than the movie. It's called peripheral vision baby! Haha I'll never forget this night!_

Entry 4:

_I am so happy that the stupid camera in the Command Room is busted. All I can say is SECRET VIDEO! Who knew he liked to cook? Maybe I can convince him to cook for everyone? I'd prefer a special meal for just the two of us but I can't be too greedy. Well, for now I'll just settle on a normal dinner with him. Oh, diary, did you know that the way he holds his chopsticks is just so sexy? YEAH. I know it's crazy but it makes my brain kind of go wild. Like damn he looks like he's good with his hands. Oh man, ME AND MY IMAGINATION! Sometimes I just can't stop it! He also eats really…neatly? I mean, you know how some guys -JUNPEI- eat like pigs? Well he doesn't. He never ceases to amaze me. Everything he does is so contrary to the façade he puts up. I just want to see it all. Lately, I can't wait to get home just so I can see if he's home. I know I have to be diligent and go to Tartarus but in reality all I want is to go out with him!_

Entry 5:

_THANK YOU FUUKA! She messed up so bad in the kitchen but it just resulted in the most wonderful experience ever! MY WISH CAME TRUE! He gave her an impromptu cooking lesson and it ended up with him making dinner! We ate a homemade meal! Oh I could just cry right now I'm so happy! Granted, Fuuka was there but, whatever, I got to eat food he made. Not to mention he served me first! That has to mean something right? Probably not but it makes me happy to think so. I can die happy now. No, I want to kiss him first, THEN, I can die happy. I noticed something today when he was cooking. He tasted the broth and I swear my eyes were transfixed on his lips. They looked…so sexy. AH I feel like a dirty old man. But I can't help it. I've never wanted to be a spoon so badly in my life before. Stupid I know! But to have his lips on me…his tongue…uhm well goodnight diary._

Entry 6:

_Sorry diary I missed a day. Well let's see…he called me a pain. I don't know what to think about that but all I know is that I kind of want to die right now. It didn't sound hateful but rather, it sounded sad…like I've somehow messed up his plan. He also asked me to look after Akihiko-senpai. When I asked him, "What about you?" he just looked so depressed. He changed the subject real quick after that. And then yesterday he just wanted me to talk. I told him everything like I was writing a memoir. It was odd, yet, it was special. I've never spoken to anyone like that before and for him to be the first makes me so happy. I don't want to sound conceited but maybe, just maybe, he might like me. I mean, why else would you want to know all this random stuff about a person right? Though, I didn't tell him the most important thing. I will. I will manage to tell him that I love him._

Entry 7:

_So I have a new mission. He's lost a really important pocket watch. I'm going to find it for him and when I do I'm going to confess. So this entry is going to be really short because I have to go look. I'm going to check the police station. I know it's cliché but it has a lost and found. Wish me luck!_

Entry 8:

_Let's see a few things happened since my last entry. I found his pocket watch! Best of all though, he gave me a present! A watch! I have no idea why a watch but it seems fitting. I found his precious watch and in return he gives me a new one! This watch will symbolize the time I've spent with him and all the time I will get to spend with him. More importantly though, I confessed. He was being stubborn and tried to push me away. I know he was only thinking of me. I mean his reasoning was pretty sound. Things like, "people will get the wrong idea," and "haven't you wasted enough time with me?" As usual though, I just sort of forced him into letting me into his room since he wouldn't come to mine. I can't really describe how adorable he was. I'll try though. I want to remember tonight for as long as I live. After I managed to get him to let me in he tried to get me out again! Can you believe him? Way to make a girl feel unwanted right? Too bad for him, though, because thanks to Tartarus, I know what a hungry beast looks like. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted me. With enough pushing any guy will give in. And give in he did. I nearly fainted when he finally embraced me. Once his coat was off I pretty much knew he wasn't going to hold back anything. He did warn me fair and square that he wasn't, "a nice guy." Whatever. I know that's a damn lie. Anyways, he wasn't even half naked yet before I could feel myself getting hot. I had to sit on his bed just to keep my balance. I could feel how rough and calloused his hands were as he took my bra off. Just the slight brush against my breasts made me wet. He made me realize in just a few seconds that he was a man, a man who wanted me as much as I wanted him. For a second he looked at me with an expression I'm not sure I understand. I could see the longing, the desire, the lust, the fear and something else. Regret? But the moment passed and he pounced. I can only assume he felt my heart pounding since he said, "this must be right cuz mine is beating just as hard and fast." This voice was so low and raspy. I don't think I'll ever forget how it sounded. My earlier assumption that he was good with his hands was spot on. I don't know why I was surprised when he slipped his fingers into me but the shock made me gasp. What did he do? The bastard smirked. He worked on me for awhile, in and out, in and out, until he felt I was ready for him. The only warning I got was a, "brace yourself." Yeah, the only thing that stifled my moan was his mouth on mine. Our first kiss. I'm not sure what was better, the feeling of him inside me, or the feeling of his lips on mine. The contrast was dizzying. His body was rough and hard inside me but his lips and kisses were the most gentle and loving thing I've ever experienced. We didn't say anything for the rest of the night, our bodies just moved together so naturally. I'm not sure how long everything actually lasted but he definitely lasted longer than me. It was my first time so I'm not surprised that he sent me over the edge -twice- pretty fast. After that well I spent the night wrapped in his arms. I'm not sure if he thought I was asleep but he actually stroked my hair. It was so softly, like he was afraid he might wake me up, that he ran his fingers through my hair and stroked my cheek. I've never…ever felt more loved. I don't know how to explain it but it was the gentlest expression of affection I've ever seen him give. And it was to me. I hope he loves me the way I love him._

Entry 9:

_I won't be writing anymore entries in here. He's in a coma. I don't understand why he left with Ken alone. Why didn't he tell anyone? Not even Akihiko-senpai. The doctors say his chances aren't so good. It seems like he was using the same medicine that he gave Chidori-san. It was killing him all this time. How could I have been so stupid not to notice the signs? Why didn't he tell me? I'm so angry. Angry, sad, depressed. Something isn't right inside me anymore. I can feel something changing and I don't know what it is. It feels…like Death. I feel like I did the day after my parents died. My Moon is gone and there's no more light in my darkness._

Shinjiro had heard from Akihiko about the events that passed while he was in the coma. He knew she had sacrificed herself to save the world. He had even dreamed that he lent his powers to her in her final fight. He realized now that it hadn't been a dream and that her tears that night weren't tears of joy at finishing the long fight but tears of inevitability. Hadn't she said it herself? She wanted to protect everyone. She succeeded but at the highest cost one could give. Her life. He remembered her saying in one of his dreams that their bond was unbreakable and everlasting. It was the last dream he had before waking up. The first thing he did as soon as his legs could carry him was run to where she was. He had to tell her that he was so glad to have met her. It was the last thing she ever heard. His tears began to fall, smearing the ink of her diary.

"I didn't even get to tell you how much I love you. Why did I have to be so fucking stubborn? If I had just taken you when I first realized I was in love with you, we would have had so much more time. Forgive me Minako. I'll join you soon enough and then I'll tell you everything and anything you ever wanted to know."

He barely heard it over his angry sobs but a whisper passed through the room. A whisper that would echo in his heart until the day, not far off, that he would join his beloved.

"_I'm so glad I met you and I'm so glad I loved you…Thank you for being my Moon in a very lonely sky."_


End file.
